Welcome to the Amadian Papers

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009   2009.09.08

Welcome to The Amadian Papers.

The writer of this text is human.  His name is David.

 David will present via this "blog" a conversation between two characters, his own self and "Amadian".

"Amadian" can be said to be a character David invented, a character whose central identity can for the moment defined as merely a compilation of David's prettiest thoughts. When Amadian is speaking (or writing), his words are shown here in a blue Helvetica font, heretofore called here the Amadian font.

         I, Amadian, wish you well.

         I hope this writing finds you at peace, and joyful.

A third character, "Michael David Holland" will also speak or write here.  The appelations Michael David Holland and MDH are used to represent the professional persona of David; in these writings, in particular, Michael David Holland or MDH will be doing most of the writing as well as most editing of written text; so it is that most of the writings presented here will be attributed to MDH.  Where it may be unclear whether David or Amadian or David is doing the speaking (or writing), MDH will provide additional clarifying edits. MDH will use this Times (aka Times Roman) font for his contributed writings as well as his edits. 


Now, to differentiate between David the overall, outward facing, human personality and those characteristics, for David, which Michael David Holland considers apart from his own nature and character... we will for now refer to that nature and character of David which MDH feels are not part of his independent self, by the name david - with a lowercase initial "d".  


There is no insanity here. 


David, over the first years of his human childhood, while living in the states of Maryland and Virginia in the United States, learned to differentiate between ideas and feelings which seemed to him had been generated, within his mind, by something outside his mind.  As a teen, he began seeking a label, for that seeming internal-yet-other source for what were wholly positive thoughts.  Although David at first, in his writings, used the term The Voice to indicate that internal-yet-other source, he sought a more personal label for The Voice, a label which would represent for him the deep respect, appreciation, and veneration he maintained for that source.  David did not worship The Voice.  "Worship", or whatever mental state David experienced which might be considered close to worship, was reserved for David's grouping of all of the beauty, the joy, which David saw in nature, in human arts, in friendships... and, he grew-up in a predominately christian nation, David found familiarity in using the word "God" as label for all of joy and beauty.


Michael David Holland generally avoids use of the word "God", as that word carried negative connotation for many people with whom he seeks to share certain notions.  It is merely a point of practicality by which MDH will here instead use the words joy and beauty, and, by preference, Joy and Beauty (capitalized.)  


Privately, both David and MDH use the word God, in speech and in writing, with comfort.  











For most practical purposes, at least in the beginning, MDH can be considered to exist apart from David only in this separation of editor and non-editor roles here.  


MDH considers Amadian quite apart from his own self, as well as fully apart from David.  MDH noes not assert that Amadian exists as an identifiable thing or being.  Again, MDH, it seems, invented Amadian.  MDH invented not only himself, but invented both Amadian and david,  is human, as id David.  

David, the overall human David, either inclusive or exclusive of MDH, does not exhibit a "multiple personality" disorder or dissociative identity disorder.  Amadian is not a human personality.  

, and so does not represent any sort of "variation on a theme" or offshoot or personality who is either distinct from David or evident, behaviorally or via expression, from David.  

MDH, when he initially began writing and speaking, used for David a label which, while not obscene or vulgar or otherwise inherently disrespecting, yields connotations which he (MDH) wishes to avoid for now.  While MDH still prefers that label for David, and will present that label in due time, for now MDH         

David's contributions are presented in the Courier  font.


This stuff is stupid.


While, again, most editing will be performed by MDH, Amadian will sometimes present his own clarifications and edits.  Those will of course be presented in the Amadian font.



Initially, it seems, David invented Amadian, with Amadian serving as a sort of goal, in personality, demeanor, and professional and personal accomplishment, toward which David could aspire. David playfully invented a history of Amadian's initial interactions, within David's historical past, which David enjoyed toying with, although David never actually "believed" Amadian existed apart from him.

Over time, the Amadian persona acquired "weight" in David's life sufficient to be able to serve as a sort of mentor or guide for David. Under this guise, David has thought, Amadian might exist as a sort of Freudian super-ego, deliberately crafted and explicitly approachable as though Amadian were indeed an entity apart from David. When Amadian speaks or writes, David enjoys "pretending" that Amadian is indeed an entity apart from his self.  Amadian may now exist as a meme, Richard Dawkins style.  (David recognizes that under Mr. Dawkins' scheme, a meme would not be "sourced" from a single human.  Still, David considers the meme concept quite useful in describing Amadian, so is explicitly, though very respectfully, violating Mr. Dawkins' definition.)

David is fairly intelligent, and has throughout his earthly life consistently strove to maintain, within his thinking and his perceptions, objectivity. There are a couple of areas of David's experience where he considers himself not very objective at all. 

For example, when he is "tired" or "depressed", David realizes these states are probably not fully valid:they are likely tools used by David the ego personality ("ego" here is used much as it is used by A Course In Miracles (ACIM), a paradigm to which, though David does not actively subscribe, he does grant considerable accord, considering it not only beautiful but worthy of subscription by many.)

Still, David considers himself rather objective overall, insofar as a member of the human specie is capable of objectivity.  


MDH